flyingsolos | IC Inbox;

[ ... She's not in the mood. Not with the way the evening ended, with Rion simultaneously saying too much and too little, and Kou withdrawing back into a safer shell where he didn't have to address the issue of his childhood friend.

It would have been better if she'd been able to sleep, but as tiring as that had been, her nerves are still buzzing. She's not in a place where she can just sing all of her frustration out either, so here she sits, one knee pulled up close enough to hug.

But of course the one person who shows up is the one person who's already seen her more... disagreeable side. Great. ]

You caught me. I'm totally feeling an apple right about now.

[ she says. Listlessly. ]

[. . . ah]

[there's hesitation, because they've only known each other for. . . what, a few days? not to mention he's completely oblivious to the sequence of events that led her here. but that's never stopped him before, has it? tentatively, Akira takes a step forward into the room, hands dipped into his pockets]

An apple, hm?

[gently]

That's unfortunate, because I think you're sitting under an orange tree.

[ There's a brief pause-- Rion's head jerks up, ponytail flying as she gives the tree a startled, almost accusatory stare.

Really, it's not the tree's fault. Some part of her had probably acknowledged what kind of tree it was too, but more importantly, it means he'd caught her in the middle of not paying attention. And lying.

And if he was willing to just roll with it, he would have nodded and left, but here he is and Rion's shoulders are already slumping. ]

Trick of the light, I guess.

[. . . she's not even rising to meet him. . .]

[he lets out a thoughtful noise and rests his shoulder against the wall, gaze still lingering on her]

Is everything okay, Kugayama-san?

[might as well get right to it]

If I say yes, will you go?

[ There's no real heat to it. It's more of a weary mutter than anything, and maybe if she'd had more time before she'd been brought here, Rion could have hidden it better. But not now. Not after seeing just how bad of a shape Kou was still in. ]

[his answer is immediate]

Yes.

[. . . and might not be the one she was expecting. but Akira knows how Confidants work. they take time and patience, and very little pressure on his part. even if her answer was "yes," and even if he didn't believe her, he'd leave it there]

Or at least change the subject, even if I wouldn't believe you.

[ Rion looks at him then-- less startled than before, but still visibly surprised. For a minute, she's reminded of an abandoned factory, someone else sitting there with an air of nonchalance but ultimately listening until she'd confessed more than she thought she would have.

But the situation is different, the boy is different-- and when she thinks about it, she's probably a little different too. But looking at Akira, she can't shake the feeling that he'd actually back away if she told him to. He's offering her an out.

... But she'd done that for Kou and he'd taken it and here she is now, so after a moment, Rion slowly shakes her head. ]

I'm-- it's not okay. It's not anything major, but...

[ She feels like a shitty friend. ]

It doesn't have to be major.

[he pushes away from the wall and closes the distance between them, until he can plop onto the ground, cross-legged, right next to her. her response was an invitation, and he'll take it, for as long as she'll have him]

But it's clearly major enough to sour your evening.

[ who wants this punk, anyway--

But Rion doesn't move, only sighs very quietly. ]

I don't really know how to help a friend deal with something. And I tried, but I think I... probably made it worse.

[ the abridged version, but not wrong at all. ]

And then he just ends up worrying about me instead, so now, knowing him, he's probably feeling doubly bad.

[he accepts the abridged version for what it is, not wanting to pry too much, too early]

What'd you try?

Changing the subject at first... but when that didn't work, telling him that he didn't have to force himself to be okay.

[ and of course he'd denied that, and... honestly, just thinking about it makes Rion droop a little more, as though she's trying to curl up. ]

I know... people have different ways of mourning, but I don't know if what he's doing now is actually helping him or not. Or what I can do for him.

[ Shiori had been her friend too, but she can't even begin to compare how she feels about it to what Kou's been dealing with. ]

[mourning, huh. . . that's pretty telling]

[Akira leans back on one hand, head tilted back, eyes flickering up towards the ceiling. he takes his time with his response, as he usually does for matters like this, picking his words carefully before he speaks]

You're right in that people have different ways of mourning. And they all come to terms with things at their own pace, too. For some people, pretending to be okay may be their best way of coping, until they're ready to face what hurts.

[tilts his head towards her next]

But you can promise him you'll be there for him when he is, you know?

Is that... really enough?

[ Kou had listened to her. Kou had told her he liked her, the girl behind the idol, and that her dream was amazing. He hadn't let her give into despair, and Rion has to blink back tears as her vision wavers. If she can't even do half as much for him--

Nope. She's not going to cry, this is embarrassing enough. She can't let herself believe she's useless here. ]

Geez-- sorry, never mind, I'm being an idiot.

I don't think worrying about a friend is something worth calling yourself an idiot over.

[he chides without mincing his words, giving a tiny shrug as he does so]

And I know it might not feel like it's "enough."

[it hurts to watch someone you care about suffer, knowing that there's very little you can do to alleviate the pain]

But I bet your friend appreciates it way more than you think he does.

... He better, I don't risk frown wrinkles for just anyone.

[ It's a very tired grumble, but it's really just because Rion still has somewhat of a difficult time being earnest with someone she barely knows. If she thinks about it, it's honestly kind of embarrassing that she's even said and shown this much.

So what better way to hide reddened eyes and a shaky voice than acting annoyed instead? Akira's right-- she knows he is.

She just has to let herself believe that. ]

[based on what he knows about Rion so far, her grumbled levity isn't a surprise at all. he knows how hard it is for people to open up to complete strangers, and he definitely feels like he's pried too much into her personal business as it is. so he lets her have this one, responding with a dry joke]

Tell him to compensate you by buying you some anti-wrinkle cream.

Pass. If I have it my way, he's not going to know anything about this.

[ He can just think Rion was tired!! And went to bed!!! And did not whine about being a shitty friend to a guy whose hair looks like it could eat him alive on a humid day!!! ]

[jiiiiiii]

Why? Because he'll feel guilty that his emotional distance made you feel like a bad friend?

[he sees many problems, here]

... I mean, you're not wrong,but there's a thing called tact.

Then let's phrase it more tactfully.

"I'm worried about you. Please don't feel bad that I am; I worry because I care and because I want to help. I'm here for you, please remember that, and let me know if there is anything I can do."

[he lays it out so bluntly and simply]

[ He sure does, and Rion stares at him with wide eyes and a look on her face suggesting that she's somehow been blindsided.

That was definitely blunt, but that's exactly how she feels, isn't it? ]

That's not... exactly tactful either, but I get your point.

[a huff, and he turns his gaze towards her again with yet another shrug]

Well. Maybe that level of bluntness is just how I've always been.

[no point in beating around the bush. . .!]

You know your friend better than I do. I believe you'll figure out the right way to approach him.

Other than it probably makes you a terrible flirt... [ Rion's own huff is half-laugh, and she stretches her legs in front of her.

After a moment, she smiles at him, a little softer. ]

That might not be such a bad thing. Thanks, Kurusu-kun.

An awful flirt. Absolutely the worst.

[he says with a straight face, which melts pretty easily when she thanks him]

Anytime. Sorry for prying into your business, though.

It's fine... you were the one who said you'd leave if I told you to. I'm pretty sure you weren't lying.

[ So in the end, it had been her choice to say something about all of this. ]

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