[ On her end, Rion doesn't move from her current position of flat on her back. One arm rests by her side, while her other hand curls over her chest, gripping at the fabric tightly. ]
You know... you don't have to try to make me feel better about it. It wasn't what you expected, right?
[and here, he pauses, trying to seek out the proper words for what he wants to say next. there's so much background information that's almost required for her to understand the story he wants to tell, but getting into Akechi here and now. . . that's not what he wants to do. there's another point to this, something related to her own fears, that he wants to empathize with. so]
I was arrested three times, actually. Once when I was falsely accused of assault, once when I voluntarily turned myself in to protect my team, and in the middle--
[he hesitates]
In the middle, there was the time I was arrested at the end of a heist.
[ Rion turns her head on the pillow(s) to look at him now, eyebrows knitting together with a mixture of perplexity and concern. Falsely accused, she'd heard of. Turning himself in to protect his team doesn't surprise her. But-- ]
They caught you as a phantom thief?
[ ... rather, how did they even know to catch him? Didn't they do their thing in the Metaverse, or whatever it was? ]
Yeah. I'll tell you exactly how another time, all right?
[that can't be the focus of this conversation, or they'll digress too much. languidly, he drapes an arm over his eyes, and keeps talking]
They took me back to the police station and locked me in an underground interrogation room. I don't know how long I was down there. Time kind of. . . ran together, after a while.
[it's hard to focus on the passage of time when you can't see the sun, and your system is chock full of drugs]
[ She'll commit it to memory for now-- because he's clearly got another aim here. So for the time being, Rion only makes a soft noise of acknowledgment to let him know she's still listening.
Maybe a part of her is still wondering what this has to do with needles, but another part of her already harbors a sneaking suspicion. ]
[ What does she say? What can she say? There's probably no way that anything she could come up with would make it better, not when he's talking about being drugged and-- hurt. ]
[ It occurs to her, not for the first time, that their team back home had had it relatively easy. The only real corrupt adult that they'd dealt with had been Mikuriya, and his target had been Rion and Rion alone. Akira had dealt with a politician who had shoved all blame on him, people so awful that they'd needed a forceful change of heart, and now brutality from a force that was supposed to protect the public?
She's not sure if it's the fever or her anger at the unfairness of it all that's making her feel so heated, but even if she's never heard him sound so furiously bitter before-- there's no way Rion could blame him for feeling that way. So quietly, if just to avoid triggering a cough-- ]
[he keeps his hair pinned back as he exhales deeply, forcing some of that bitterness down into the annals of his heart where it belongs. where he keeps it when it isn't appropriate to let it free]
[ So it's fine. They're both burning up and clearly unwell and more than anything at that moment, Rion wants to find these police assholes and make them regret it--
But she can't. And as much as it makes her seethe that she can't, because of how Akira's suffered, she has to accept that much and that's why Rion shifts and lifts herself up slightly. The cloth falls off to the side when she reaches to brush her fingers over that scar.
There's a pause, as she waits to make sure the dizziness won't get the best of her, or a cough won't escape, but then she leans in and presses a gentle kiss to the scar. It's brief and light, and she draws back shortly after. ]
You never deserved that. But I'm sure you knew that already.
[the way his breath hitches in his throat when her lips brush up against the line of that scar is totally her imagination. totally! (no it isn't)]
[he doesn't comment on whether he deserved it or not, because she's right. he already knows that he didn't. and there was a point to him telling her about this, anyway]
That's why I'm afraid of needles.
[though "afraid" may not be quite right. he isn't sure. but every time he sees one, he finds himself instinctively stiffening, back going taut and heart hammering in his chest in a way that leaves him breathless. and not the good kind of breathless. it's like his fight or flight response goes into overdrive, and both instincts are so strong that he can't quite choose between them]
It happened a long time ago, but I'm still not. . .
[ wow, she hopes that didn't actually hurt him, that'd be terrible--
But she thinks he gets it, what he's trying to tell her. It's how he's chosen to tell her that brings up a rush of affection from somewhere deeper than "because he's being cute" or "because I like talking to him". He didn't have to tell her. It was clearly still an incredibly painful and bitter memory for him, and Rion's a little overwhelmed at the fact that he'd brought it up on his own.
It's not something she ever wanted him to empathize with, and even if the situations are different and she could largely shove down her own deep-rooted worry that something would go wrong again, and it would be her fault--
Some instincts can't be hidden completely. She'd still tensed up with earthquakes, too. ]
It's... funny, huh?
[ Rion flops down onto her side again, mustering a small, frail smile that soon fades as she continues. ]
We do our best to be strong and not worry anyone, and we have good memories to draw on, but sometimes the bad ones... really dig their claws in. No matter how much we want to shove them down.
[nnnnno it definitely wasn't pain he was feeling. . . . . ]
[he shifts onto his side as well, and the now-warm cloth drops onto the bed between them when he does so]
Yeah.
[he won't deny that. in his experience, it's true. he's seen it first hand with his Phantom Thieves-- with Ryuji, Ann, Yusuke, Makoto, Futaba, Haru-- and even his non-thief Confidants]
But again, that's what I'm here for. So you don't have to face them alone.
[ Rion has to turn her head and bring one sleeve up as her laugh transitions rather painfully into a wheeze of a cough, but she's still smiling once she lowers her arm. ]
You can kiss me once we both look and feel about five times better. I'll take a rain check.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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. . . I didn't think it was uncool.
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You know... you don't have to try to make me feel better about it. It wasn't what you expected, right?
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[Akira gives a small, one-shouldered shrug]
We talked about it before, and you told me you were afraid of hurting people again. [. . .] That sort of fear doesn't just disappear overnight.
[even with his attempts at assuaging it by promising her that the people who cared about her would never let it happen again]
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... I guess it's not so easy to get over this fear.
[ At all. It's almost kind of frustrating. ]
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[he flops back onto the bed, now curled up close to her side]
[. . .]
. . . hey. Did you know I'm afraid of needles?
[non-sequitur??]
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I'm pretty sure that never came up.
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[and here, he pauses, trying to seek out the proper words for what he wants to say next. there's so much background information that's almost required for her to understand the story he wants to tell, but getting into Akechi here and now. . . that's not what he wants to do. there's another point to this, something related to her own fears, that he wants to empathize with. so]
I was arrested three times, actually. Once when I was falsely accused of assault, once when I voluntarily turned myself in to protect my team, and in the middle--
[he hesitates]
In the middle, there was the time I was arrested at the end of a heist.
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They caught you as a phantom thief?
[ ... rather, how did they even know to catch him? Didn't they do their thing in the Metaverse, or whatever it was? ]
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Yeah. I'll tell you exactly how another time, all right?
[that can't be the focus of this conversation, or they'll digress too much. languidly, he drapes an arm over his eyes, and keeps talking]
They took me back to the police station and locked me in an underground interrogation room. I don't know how long I was down there. Time kind of. . . ran together, after a while.
[it's hard to focus on the passage of time when you can't see the sun, and your system is chock full of drugs]
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Maybe a part of her is still wondering what this has to do with needles, but another part of her already harbors a sneaking suspicion. ]
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. . .
Truth serum doesn't really work as advertised. It doesn't affect someone's veracity.
It just impedes their ability to focus. To think. To fight back and defend themselves.
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[ Her voice is entirely too raspy to really get the full effect of incredulity tinged with rising anger and distress, but she sure does her best. ]
They drugged you??
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They did a lot more than just drug me, Rion.
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[ What does she say? What can she say? There's probably no way that anything she could come up with would make it better, not when he's talking about being drugged and-- hurt. ]
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Some people in power can't stand it when a teenager is better at catching criminals than they are.
[his words are sharp enough to cut through leather, full of bitterness that Rion has only seen flashes of up until now]
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She's not sure if it's the fever or her anger at the unfairness of it all that's making her feel so heated, but even if she's never heard him sound so furiously bitter before-- there's no way Rion could blame him for feeling that way. So quietly, if just to avoid triggering a cough-- ]
Those bastards.
[ And, staring at that tiny scar... ]
Can I...?
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I have a fever.
[that part is said lightly, but. . .]
. . . but you can, if you want.
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[ So it's fine. They're both burning up and clearly unwell and more than anything at that moment, Rion wants to find these police assholes and make them regret it--
But she can't. And as much as it makes her seethe that she can't, because of how Akira's suffered, she has to accept that much and that's why Rion shifts and lifts herself up slightly. The cloth falls off to the side when she reaches to brush her fingers over that scar.
There's a pause, as she waits to make sure the dizziness won't get the best of her, or a cough won't escape, but then she leans in and presses a gentle kiss to the scar. It's brief and light, and she draws back shortly after. ]
You never deserved that. But I'm sure you knew that already.
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[he doesn't comment on whether he deserved it or not, because she's right. he already knows that he didn't. and there was a point to him telling her about this, anyway]
That's why I'm afraid of needles.
[though "afraid" may not be quite right. he isn't sure. but every time he sees one, he finds himself instinctively stiffening, back going taut and heart hammering in his chest in a way that leaves him breathless. and not the good kind of breathless. it's like his fight or flight response goes into overdrive, and both instincts are so strong that he can't quite choose between them]
It happened a long time ago, but I'm still not. . .
[he trails off]
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But she thinks he gets it, what he's trying to tell her. It's how he's chosen to tell her that brings up a rush of affection from somewhere deeper than "because he's being cute" or "because I like talking to him". He didn't have to tell her. It was clearly still an incredibly painful and bitter memory for him, and Rion's a little overwhelmed at the fact that he'd brought it up on his own.
It's not something she ever wanted him to empathize with, and even if the situations are different and she could largely shove down her own deep-rooted worry that something would go wrong again, and it would be her fault--
Some instincts can't be hidden completely. She'd still tensed up with earthquakes, too. ]
It's... funny, huh?
[ Rion flops down onto her side again, mustering a small, frail smile that soon fades as she continues. ]
We do our best to be strong and not worry anyone, and we have good memories to draw on, but sometimes the bad ones... really dig their claws in. No matter how much we want to shove them down.
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[he shifts onto his side as well, and the now-warm cloth drops onto the bed between them when he does so]
Yeah.
[he won't deny that. in his experience, it's true. he's seen it first hand with his Phantom Thieves-- with Ryuji, Ann, Yusuke, Makoto, Futaba, Haru-- and even his non-thief Confidants]
But again, that's what I'm here for. So you don't have to face them alone.
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[ It's said a little hesitantly, like Rion is still absolutely not used to burdening other people with her problems.
Because she's not. It's a work in progress, for sure. ]
And... you don't have to, either. If you're going to be here for me, I want to do the same.
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I'd kiss you if I wasn't really gross right now.
[JUST BEING HONEST]
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You can kiss me once we both look and feel about five times better. I'll take a rain check.
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